My first-grader doesn’t love to write…

Mio Debnam replies: Valedictorian is a title normally given to the most academically able student of a graduating year, so I’m assuming that the fact that he was valedictorian in his kindergarten must mean that your son is a quick learner, and is a bright boy… who doesn’t like writing (yet).
However, it’s probably a good idea to discuss your worries with his teacher, who can assess if it is just a matter of attitude, or if there is a physical cause making him an unwilling writer – ie he may have some learning difficulty, such as dyslexia, which makes writing/reading difficult for him, and thus extra challenging and unenjoyable.

Once you have determined that there are no underlying reasons for him not liking to write, relax a little – don’t make writing into a huge problem that he has to tackle. At Grade One, students are classed as ‘emergent writers’ – and everyone develops skill sets at their own pace – so don’t worry too much if some others are writing more than he is – he should be able to catch up by the end of Grade Two. Besides, no one likes the idea of ‘hard work’… so cracking the whip and telling him that he has to work at loving to write won’t make him any less reluctant!

Also, if he perceives that it is something that mum is really worried about, the fear of failure (eg of spelling things wrong, getting grammar wrong, writing which isn’t ‘good enough’) may also be a deterrent to trying to write, and taking creative ‘risks’ in the things that he writes.

Perhaps the best approach is to make it (reading, writing, wordplay – which are all linked) seem like fun. Firstly, make sure you read to him a lot – stories, or non fiction, whatever interests him. Don’t worry about the educational payoff of the reading material – read whatever stimulates his imagination.

Do word games with him when you’ve got a minute – ie when waiting in a queue, or travelling somewhere – this teaches wordplay in an enjoyable way – some suggestions of games are below. The important thing to remember is to not make it seem like work – this is ’stealth education’ – so the emphasis should be on fun. Be silly, stop when he gets bored and don’t take things too seriously!

Another suggestion is to introduce short bits of writing into normal day to day life – like asking him to write your grocery shopping list (make it short and easy!), or write a postcard when on holiday… If he’s a computer fanatic, like so many boys are, you could ask him to write the list on the computer and print it out – make sure you use it though, so he feels he’s done something positive. In addition, you could help him to produce something he can be proud of – other than schoolwork.

Perhaps if he has drawn a fabulous picture, you can encourage him to write a little something alongside it – something short and not too demanding – so you can photocopy it and send it out to people such as grandparents (ask them to write back with praise and encouragement!). Or if he thinks of a great story during the storytelling game, you can work with him (maybe taking it in turns to draw and write) in making a little homemade book (fold A4 sheets in half and staple down the spine) – with a few words and a picture on each page.

Again, this is something you can photocopy and ‘publish’ to send to family and friends. These should be very easy to do, non-demanding, fun projects – don’t worry if the writing isn’t neat, if the spelling is wrong etc – just praise the good/creative bits and ignore the bits that need correcting – there’ll be plenty of time to learn the ‘boring secretarial’ aspects of writing – he is still very young, and still developing skills.

Hopefully, over time, you will find that your encouragement and the fun activities you do with him will work wonders in sparking his imagination and creativity – which are the keystones of nurturing the love to write.

Word game suggestions:
1. Rhyming games – chose an easy to rhyme word and try and make a 2 or 4 line poem where every line ends in a word that rhymes. Alternatively set the rule that you can only talk in rhyming couplets – ie you might not know it, but you can be a poet!
2. Storytelling game – ask one participant to choose three or four unrelated things (the more bizarre the better) then ask another participant to think of a very simple story which features one of the things on the list – this can get very surreal, but that’s part of the fun!
3. The simile game – think of a word then go around all the participants trying to think of a word that means something similar – eg Big: huge, gigantic, massive etc. If you run out of words, you have to drop out – the last person left is the winner.